Trainings and Supervision

Workshop #313

Unfree To Be Me: Preventing and Healing the Abuse of Gay Youth

Many therapists ask, “How can you tell if a child or teenager is gay or lesbian?” There is no rule of thumb nor any scientific literature that claims to know for sure. But the gay clients in your office were once gay children and teenager--and they will tell you that for sure. The trauma done to the neglect and  abuse of these children is profound. Therapists have an opportunity to help these children and their families to reduce the amount of psychological damage that is done through neglect, bullying and lack of acceptance.

This workshop will focus on how to address children and teenagers who self-identify as gay or lesbian and their families.

Learning Objectives:

1. Identity ways to help gay and lesbian children and teenagers.

2. Address therapist's anxiety around how to ask and address a child/teenager's homosexuality.

3. Learn ways to help parents cope with having a gay child as well as helping the child cope with unaccepting parents.

Workshop #514

When Gay Guise Happens to Straight Marriages

When a male spouse in a heterosexual marriage reveals he fantasizes about having sex with men, is caught looking at online gay porn and in gay chat rooms, and possibly is having sex with men, women--and these men--often worry that he is gay and that the marriage needs to end. However, for many of these men this is not about gayness. A variety of reasons exist as to why men seek other men for sexhave sex with another man which are not about a gay identity. Some of these men wish to engage in sexual contact with their wives which she will not do. He believes his sexual contact with men is "not cheating". Therapists, being politically correct, often believe the man is in denial about his homosexuality and move him in a direction toward coming out gay when--in fact--he is not.  

In this workshop, we'll discuss ways of dealing with the reactivity of the "betrayed" wife, confronting our own and the couple's homophobia, understand the male's interest in sexual contact with men, and helping the couple decide what course is best for them.

1. Understand the psychological meaning of the arousal template of the men who seek sex with men (MSM's) who are not gay or bisexual.

2. Learn to help the couple communicate in non-reactive ways about sexuality and to understand what the behavior means and how it impacts the marriage.

3. Address the fears, anxieties and insecurities of these wives about her husband's sexual interests and how to help her listen effectively to him without it being personalized.

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